UL BANNER

1/11/2011

Iä! Gorville Redenbacher!

Gorville Redenbacher
Lesser Deity of Snacks, Games and Madness

Avert thine gaze, fool.
Patron god of popping corn, hobby games and acute mental psychoses. Also known as the Filler of the Bowl, the Tabletop Lord and the Timesinker. Possibly an aspect of Nyarlathotep (though some scholars dispute this, countering that Nyarlathotep itself may be but an aspect of the Gorville). He is among those gods who are recognized at social gatherings and games where caffeinated drinks are often toasted in his honor. The Gorville's presence evokes obsessive tinkering and hunger for salty, high-carb snacks. While the Tabletop Lord exerts his influence on all dice-chuckers, certain men and women are of especial interest to him and bear the full weight of his malign attentions. Such poor souls often find themselves obsessing over projects that have no clear end or goal, spending hours upon hours in paradoxical, self-manufactured mental labyrinths, all the while snacking away at the Gorville's eldritch corn. The end result is always the same. The god's chosen become gibbering wrecks, haunting snack-food aisles in supermarkets and proclaiming the virtues of esoteric encounter resolution systems. Such is the doom that Gorville Redenbacher bestows. 

4 comments:

  1. UNBELIEVER!!!

    Thou hast spake falsely of the GLORIOUS Gorville Redenbacher!

    Mayest thou be reduced to sucking on unpopped kernels and sitting for hours, inconsequentially, upon thine throne for the remains of thy gaming, Mighty Gorville willing!


    -Fiberious, Adept of the Third Bag and Bearer of the Floss

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  2. The seventh hierophant called for his master torturer shortly after the Floss-Bearer's vehement outburst. Hopelessly interrupted, the temple's game had ended to the dismay of the Black Duke of Banaloor. His dice-rolling was said to be temporarily enhanced by a Vlossian witch's charm who owed him a favor. The description of the hapless holyman's excruciations is a matter of public record in the city of Jindelil. Suffice it to say that his eldritch corn was chewed and hand-fed to him by his acolytes ever after.

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  3. Such is the will of Gorville...

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  4. Praise! Praise for the Bowl-Filler! May his bespectacled countenance never fall upon me!

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