|There. Feel better?|
BONUS! D6 TABLE OF RANDOM USELESS SHIT
Part of a hoard maybe? Or just some junk you stole from that toothless peddler?
Either way, this shit is useless.
(1) Bent and partially burned lampshade
(2) Sack full of old fingernail clippings
(3) Ripped pornographic oil painting
(4) False testicles (rubber; belonged to a eunuch)
(5) Two wooden pence (worthless; won't get you free drinks)
(6) Flask of endless bitching: This bitter concoction might easily be mistaken for a run-of-the-mill healing potion. When imbibed the drinker is compelled to let loose with a seemingly endless tirade of complaints, hypocritical criticisms, nonsensical claims and patronizing comments directed at all those standing nearby. Only a Cure Disease or Remove Curse will quell the tongue of the afflicted character.