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9/23/2011

Community Project: D20 Drafts on tap at the Sign of the Wrinkled Tit


What can I tell you about the Wrinkled Tit? It's in a sleazy section of town. Not close enough to the whore houses to be interesting, and not far enough from the shadowy Foreign Temple district for comfort. Only the hardcore losers, snuff-peddlers and out-of-work roughs come here -- which is how they like it. The Teat (as it is often called) is owned by Fultch Blestow, slum-lord extraordinaire and general social parasite. Its list of barkeeps is sordid and lengthy, going back several hundred years and featuring an astonishing number of miscreants, blackmail artists and petty dealers in contraband. What's even more surprising is the array of intoxicants on tap.

D20 TABLE OF STRANGE DRAFTS

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21 comments:

  1. Death Shake: A surprisingly sweet and fruity drink made from the milk of the Catoblepas. Drinkers must make a constitution roll for each pint drunk or lose their sense of smell for 1d6 days.

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  2. Old Molochian: A strong pale ale with black and gold flecks in it's head and a sweetly sulphurous taste, it imparts an increasing thirst. Each pint after the first forces a save vs. Poison or encourages the drinker to drink any liquid set before them. Those who resist this temptation will gain a raging hangover (-1 to all actions for the next day).

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  3. Mushroom Ale: Not well known for their brews and for good reason, elvish mushroom ale is a sour ale that is only for the true connoisseurs. This style of ale ranges in color from amber to dark wine red depending on when, where and what was put in it while it was brewed. Elves brew mushroom ale in an open kettle allowing it to be exposed to the elements. The main ingredient is the violet dreamer truffle, which gives the ale its unique flavor. Each brewery uses a different blend uses a different blend of yeasts, herbs and spices, but all mushroom ale tastes the same; sour and earthy. Elves claim they taste the difference between each brewers style, but no one else has been able to discern the subtle distinctions. Use the normal rules for imbibing alcohol, except every time a new bottle is opened or barrel is tapped there is a 2% chance that the ale is deadly and the drinker must make a save vs. death after each sip. Violet dreamer truffles are extremely similar to Pluto's fruit truffles, which are poisonous. There's a small chance a brewer could have confused violet dreamer with Pluto's fruit during the brewing process.

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  4. Dregs 'n Such: The dregs, afterwash and remains from the kegs, casks, and bottles of other equally low life establishments in the area. Bought at a discount by Blestow, these remaindets remainders are mixed together and fortiified with other elements like turpentine or lamp oil for color,age and taste.

    Most customers of the Tit know what they are buying when they order the dregs, but the 3 copper price is too good to pass up.

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  5. 10.Orcus's Brew - Made from the strange fermented fungus that grows from the dream haunted crypts of Yin. This brew is made by the forgotten necromancer of this strange city & aged under the strange radiations of their underground vaults. The alcohol is tinged with a drop of negative planar energy for that extra kick.
    Those who consume it are rumored to have nightmares of Hell itself & the churning hordes who await them. Those who consume it once seem to want to repeat the experience. The bottles of the stuff are made from remains of dead giant insects & it can sell for as much as 20 gold pieces a bottle. Strangely each bottle is numbered with piece of shale shaped like a tomb stone. The number is made with a rude crayon with traces of blood mixed into the wax.
    Each glass is 3 gold pieces & tastes of a strangely pleasant beer with a hint of mint & ashes.
    It is said that Orcus himself has the occasional brew & that those who drink, drink with him as well.

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  6. 7. Old Number 7
    No one knows exactly what this is, because no one has ordered it for decades. The cask's label is worn and faded, and only the letter "L" is barely visible. On the bottom of the cask is stamped the word "seven" in dwarven runes, from which this draught gets its name.

    The brew itself is a brackish amber that rises a black-brown crown of foam and smells a bit like moldy violets.

    Anyone drinking Old Number 7 must Save vs. Poison, or be struck with a case of bloodrash for 1d6+1 days.

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Miasmimosa
    This bittersweet brew is made by the monks of the Order of the Fist at their monastery in Northern Kirlangan. Once the brew has fermented, the casks are lovingly fortified with a thick liqueur distilled from fermented ripe jackfruit bulbs mixed with an equal portion of heavy water pulled from the Sparkling Springs. The casks are allowed to age in the monastery cellar for three months, and then shipped to inns around the realm.

    When a cask is newly tapped or the tap is opened to pull a draught, the ale gives off a noxious orange mist that may quickly overpower anyone within 5 feet—everyone must make a Save vs. Breath Weapon or be paralyzed for 1d6 rounds.

    A tankard of the ale gives off a slight noxious smell that inflicts an automatic 1 HP per tankard on the customer as the ale is swallowed. However, once the ale has been digested, the character earns a temporary +3 to Charisma for 2d8 rounds. This bonus does not accumulate across multiple tankards. If more than 3 tankards are consumed, the bonus becomes a penalty.

    If a full tankard of Miasmimosa is allowed to sit unimbibed in front of a character for more than 1 round, the character will soon become disoriented from the fumes, and must make a Save vs. Poison or collapse unconscious for 1d8 rounds.

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  9. Twisted Manticore
    A light, airy pale ale with a lemongrass aftertaste. One drink costs 5 gp, and packs a wallop of a personal cost—a permanent –1 loss to Constitution. However, anyone brave enough to down a draught will also be granted the gift of prophecy for 1d4 days (only applies to the first drink). They will also be filled with an overwhelming sense of sorrow and openly weep without stopping for the entire period of effect.

    The primary flavoring ingredient is pus from a manticore's infected paw. Willard the Barkeep brews this on premises (he keeps a young manticore chained and muzzled in the cellar, shoving splinters into its paws to keep its wounds oozing).

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  10. Gargle
    The label says it's a handcrafted ale brewed from a secret recipe handdown by the Hopthwhistle family for generations that uses the choicest ingredients in a twelve-step fermentation process.

    It's actually the pungent expelled remains of whatever Doctor Hoptense had his patients gargle to kill throat itch.

    Drinking a tankard is not advised, and any effect is at the DM's whim.

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  11. Mykln's Hard Pommegranate Cider
    The cheapest brew in all the land at 1 cp a pint, because it's nasty as hell to drink. Words can't describe how terrible it is, but perhaps Ramplix the Bard came close when he declared that this brew "tastes like feet bathed in skunk musk for a month." But since it's so cheap, the riff-raff keeps ordering it. It packs a wallop of a -5 to STR for 1d4 days after 3 cps worth has been downed.

    No one knows how long the cask's been opened. In fact, Willard the Barkeep has never ordered another cask, and can't even remember when this one showed up behind the bar. The barrel itself is an Everflowing Cask (which unfortunately only flows with this particular liquid), stashed in the Wrinkled Tit by a long-dead rogue named Fearbeard Dwimmlenobbin. His bastard son Tunom has heard rumors of its existence, but since he's currently first mate on the Bloody Nipple, a pirate frigate plundering the Inner Sea, he hasn't had a chance to investigate.

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  12. Fizzy Meh
    It's a girly drink, to be sure, and no stout-hearted adventurer or three-fingered rogue would be caught dead drinking it. It's a favorite of the whores and hags who frequent the Wrinkled Tit, as it offers a delightful orangey-lemon taste and a slight buzz with nary a hint of a hangover to come. You can drink and drink without ever worrying about getting drunk or suffering other ill effects.

    But demi-humans (especially gnomes) know that Fizzy Meh is best served flat and set ablaze, and then downed quickly once the flame begins to smoke. When imbibed in this manner, Fizzy Meh offers a +2 to CON and gives the drinker enhanced infravision, allowing an additional 20 foot range.

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  13. Edit to end of Fizzy Meh:

    These effects last for 1d4 days.

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  14. Groot
    This frothy, amber-colored brew tastes strongly of blackberries and despair. Drinking more than a pint will result in the drinker curling up in a ball and endlessly weeping and wailing about the uselessness of life and the cruelty of the gods for 1d4 days. After this duration, the drinker suffers a –2 to ALL stats for 1 day.

    A bless spell cast by a cleric of at least twice the affected character's level will immediately cure all ill effects.

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  15. Dreegnog
    This hardy stout is black as blackest night with an aftertaste of treacle mixed with plums (to some) or (to others) pears. When a tankard is set near an open flame, Dreegnog sucks in the light, and transmutes it into nourishment, healing 5 hp per pint downed.

    Unfortunately, Dreegnog packs a punch—anyone consuming more than 3 pints in one sitting will experience 20 hp of hangover damage, and suffer a crippling headache and blurred vision for 1d6 days.

    Cost: 5 sp per pint.

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  16. Twee
    Made from fermented auroch milk solids and ant honey, this thickly pungent beverage is famous for its ability to make the comeliest of maids a raging beauty. Seriously. Any female drinking a pint of Twee gains a +7 to Charisma and a +4 to Intelligence for 1d4 days.

    It has no effect on males or eunuchs.

    Cost: 5 gp per pint, because beauty ain't cheap.

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  17. Hueuershiffel
    Served boiling hot, this thick, malty beer cures what ails you (curing up to 30% of missing hp with a pint) but causes a rash on the tongue and throat that takes away speech for 1d12 days.

    Cost: 12 sp per pint.

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  18. Schipperfutz

    A frothy mixture of scummy pond water, almond extract, and grapefruit trimmings fermented for 300 days in a charred whiskey cask on the third level of the dungeon beneath the Castle of the Archmage.

    It's used mostly to rinse off altars after human sacrifices, but it also has a nice tangy aftertaste. Other than that, it's really nothing to write home about.

    Cost: 1/2 cp per pint.

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  19. Dayingue Tranuke

    Blackblood ale brewed by orcs. Tastes like owlbear dung with a trace of lime. Orcs love it. 'Nuff said.

    Provides up to +2 to STR for 2 days, but only for orcs and half-orcs. Everyone else must Save vs. Poison or be struck with a case of the mofuglies (-12 to CHA) for 1d12+1 days.

    Cost: 5 cp per pint.

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  20. Greg:

    How about slotting out the table for us so we can see what's left?

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  21. Love it! I wrote a LL adventure module based around beer. I named it Mountain Mushroom Stout. The module is here: http://www.rpgnow.com/product_info.php?products_id=97707

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