UL BANNER

4/18/2013

How to Eat Baby Orcs


1. Abandon the notion that the moral environment of a D&D campaign has some hazy cause-and-effect relationship with behavior outside the context of the game.

2. Use teeth to gash orc infant's carotid artery.

3. Gently squeeze its chest to spray gore upon your face and upper body.

4. Tear off legs and wield like drumsticks.

5. Chew flesh and consume.

15 comments:

  1. Pat Robertson would be so proud!

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  2. Replies
    1. 7. Eat parents.

      8. Make grandparents watch.

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    2. 9. Cast Raise Dead and repeat.

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  3. I am telling Jack Chick on you.

    ERIC!

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  4. Do not eat orcs raw, DMG has details for parasitic infections for a reason.

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  5. Those are Ogres in the picture! My appetite is ruined!

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    Replies
    1. You say "poe-tay-toe"; I say "poe-tah-tuh."

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  6. I liked the old header better.

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    Replies
    1. No love for Ming the Merciless?

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    2. Ming's a petty tyrant, not a Petty God.

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  7. Monster eating is a fascinating topic. My PCs are often tempted to taste exotic monsters. Once I played with Erol Otus in a Grodog session, and the two of us started cooking and eating the dead monsters. None of the other players wanted to join in the taste testing, but it turned out that the killer crustaceans of the Black Reservoir were quite tasty, or at least better than chikkin.

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    Replies
    1. Hopefully there was ample garlic butter on hand.

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  8. I think you would get along with my WFRP character, who attempts to solve all problems by starting a fire...

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