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Let's try that again.1. CHERRY FEYGO. Made with real virgin fey tear drops! Grants 1d12 bonus to all CON checks for 1 day.2. GRAPEWINE FEYGO. Made with 100% organic grape leaves fermented in recycled fey urine. Provides +2 to attacks with clubs and maces. 3. ORANGE PHANTOM. Pure, refreshing, bottled phantom blood mixed with the juice of unripened bleeding doughfruit. Save vs. Poison or suffer 1d4 days of the runs; afterwards, skin is suffused with unnatural glow visible by creatures with infra vision for 1d4 days. 4. RUSTY NAIL HOPTOIT PLUS PIPEWEED EXTRACT. All natural fortified root beer flavored with a hint of vanilla and extra virgin pipeweed extract. Provides all the the nutrition of iron rations but makes you hungry for more all the same. Provides double overnight HP recovery per bottle.5. SERGEANT VERNER'S SPICED GINGER HONEY MEAD. Made with gnomish ginger for an extra kick. Causes 1d4 hours of highly flammable flatulence, but also cures gout and bursitis and is said to dissolve corns and calluses when topically applied. Dwarves are highly allergic to this drink, as ginger makes them break out in hives.6. DR. GRANDMA'S CRAMPACOLA. Highly sought after for its purgative powers. Made with a blend of 16 secret ingredients plus oregano extract. Causes vomiting within 1d4 minutes of imbibing. Anyone consuming the vomit gains +3 to STR for 1d6 hours.7. LICHORISH FIZZ. A bubbly, fruit-punch flavored, blood-ochre gel sold in double-sacked sausage skins. Rumored to contain real lich droppings. Grants ability to speak to undead for 1d6 hours. Also cures dandruff if used as a shampoo.
8. UNDERMOUNTAIN DEW. The official drink of dwarven miners. Increases work output by 200% and makes drinker immune to all effect of (or attempt to) sleep for 3d8 days, at which point the drinker will "crash" and sleep for a number of days equal to the number of days which they've been awake. Effects of crash are completely resistant to all attempts to counteract (including pokes, prods, screeches, or spells of any sort).9. 1d6+1•UP. Alkaline pH rating requires CON of 15 or to imbibe without harm. All others must save vs. death ray or immediately dissolve into a "crisp and clean" colorless, odorless, bubbling puddle.
10. MANDRAGORA SPECIAL ROOT (with Lime & Pepper): Hot & Refreshing! +4 of saves against fear and magic for 4 hours. -4 on CHA for 4 hours, because the char becomes an real macho/bitch and poser in this time.
11. Kyuss Dew the drink with a worm!12 Green slime
13. SOYLENT GREEN SODA (made from liquified corpses): Heals 1W6 HP and ads +1 to CON for 4 hours.
14. PHANTA NEW BLOODY ORANGEThe latest product of the franchise, it combines the classic orange taste with blood of (1) a basilisk, (2) medusa, (3) cockatrice, or (4) amphisbaena. Save or be turned to stone; on a 20, the imbiber gains the ability to turn creatures to stone with his spit for 1d3 days.15. BRAINIAC'S FAVOURITETurmixed wizard brain, peach, and vodka. There is 25% chance it grants a one-use random spell of random level; otherwise, it induces temporary insanity.16. SEA WATERSalty sea water; cheap but still not recommended.
Aunty Lilah's Lilac Soda (Lite): Very obscure local bottlery that went out of business ages ago. Smells remarkably like cat urine. Three sips and you can read anything for 1d4 minutes; it says so right on the label. Unfortunately, after just opening it 1d4 cats will begin showing up at random intervals for the next couple of weeks. They grow increasingly hostile the longer you go without cracking open another of these sodas...then they stop coming altogether and you gain a -2 penalty on all subsequent reaction to cats, until treated with either a Remove Curse or Cure Disease.Blue Bull: Fortified with the re-distilled dregs of Black Liquor and carefully blended with hops, a special selection of premium herbs and botanicals, and the nectar-venom of wasp-cacti lovingly gathered under the light of the full moon by naked nymphs just for you. Drinking this stuff requires a Save; fail and you are incapacitated puking your guts out for 1d4 minutes. Succees and you gain a temporary +1 to CON, have maximum hit points, and +1 on all subsequent Saves for the next 15 minutes. Then you crash. Take 1d4 damage, go back to normal hits, normal CON, and have a nasty taste in your mouth that just won't go away, unless you drink another.
19. MOONDROP CITRUS BURST. Only sold in half-pint bottles, MCB boasts a sliver of silver in every bottle helps protect against lycanthropy. Refreshing lemon-lime-grapefruit taste provides instant energy in the form of a +2 to STR for 1d6 hours.20. MYKLIN'S NON-ALCOHOLIC POMEGRANATE CIDER. This is the unfermented version of the world-famous >Myklin's Hard Pomegranate Cider The cheapest version of the cheapest brew in all the land, it's been said MNAPC is nastier than drinking the slop from a hellspawn's latrine. A pint bottle costs a half-copper. Since it’s so cheap, folks keep drinking it, even though it packs a wallop: –2 to STR for 1d4 days per bottle. Also makes an excellent degreaser.
21..? Yeah! This table is old enough for the...21. REAL STUFF. Condensed matter, but not of this world; and if it stains local space like that, what's it doing to your insides..? Save vs. I Feel It In My Guts or become a portal for 1d6-1 gastro-intestinal phenomena per day, half of which are in fact extra-existential visitors.
22. LIQUID SKIN - heals scars and bleeding wounds without much fuss, skin color is 1 - red 2 - bronze 3 - pale 4 - greenish 5 - black (as in pitchblack) 6 - colorchanging every 1d12 hour into a random vibrant color like cab-yellow or lobster-red.
23. BLACK DRAGON MOISTERIZER & PEELING CREAM: 4d6 acid damage if used by someone other than a black dragon.... well. Or not because this are "Root Beer, Potions, or Booze"?
*these are not* <_<°
24. DIET LEMON. Half of a rotten lemon floating in a stoppered beaker of spring water. No special powers.25. BUGBEAR JUICE. Freshly squeezed bugbear venom mixed with two spoonfuls of salt in every bottle. Grants +3 to Saves vs. Poison for 1d6 days.26. CRUSTY OWLBEAR. Favored by wizards everywhere, Crusty Owlbear brings the delicious flavors of arsenic, lace, and dandelion wine in a non-alcoholic concoction. Provides +2 against flame attacks and grants the drinker a personal one foot sphere of silence for 1d4 hours.27. MOM'S OWN® CHICKEN BROTH. Just like mother used to make, only fresher! Made wtih 100% real crypt cockerel and seasoned with a special blend of vipervine extract and extra-virgin chokecherry juice. Grants +3 to CON and +1 to DEX for 1d6 days.28. GINGER DJINN. Someone at the vending supply company mixed up! One totally smoking hot red-headed 2,000 year old femal genie will materialize in a roil of smoke when the bottle is opened, passionately kiss the bottle opener, and grant up to five minor limited wishes. There is an 80% chance the genie falls in love with the bottle opener and will follow them around attempting to solve their problems in ways that create madcap hijinx.29. AZURE DJINN. Someone at the vending supply company's quality control divison really screwed up! One totally buff studly beefcake of a 2,000 year old male genie will materializ in a roil of smoke when the bottle is opened, passionately kiss the bottle opener, and demand the opener marry him immediately. If the opener refuses, there is an 80% chance the genie will turn the PC into a genie and stuff him or her into the bottle, restock the bottle in the vending machine, and dematerialize to another plane.30. EMPTY BOTTLE. Someone should really lodge a complaint with the vending supply company.